What Color Should You Not Wear to a Wedding
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1. Is there a rule that says wedding guests can't wear black or white?
Not anymore. Unlike the bridesmaids, you can wear any color you want. However, if you do choose white, make sure "it doesn't look remotely bridal," suggests etiquette expert Peggy Post, director of the Emily Post Institute. If you opt for black, "it should look chic, not funereal." You should also consider the time of day, location, and any religious restrictions (for example, no bare shoulders or risqué necklines).
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2. Speaking of church weddings, do I need to dress really conservatively?
It depends on the venue and time of day — some weddings are formal and others more relaxed, says Diane Gottsman, a national etiquette expert and founder of The Protocol School of Texas. Take cues from the wedding invitation. "That will give you a sense of the tone of the event." A sleeveless sheath dress is generally appropriate for an afternoon church wedding.
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3. I have the perfect present in mind. Do I really have to give something off the registry?
"I'm a fan of bridal registries: They help couples suggest gift ideas, avoid duplicate gifts, and simplify gift giving for their guests," says Post. But choosing your own gift is also okay, she adds. "Often the most memorable gifts are those that guests select themselves." Translation: Go with your gut. Or if you're feeling generous, double up. Get something small from the registry, and splurge on the personal pick.
4. My friend is getting married but it's her second wedding. I gave her a present the first time. Do I need to give another?
According to Post, if you gave a gift for the first marriage, you're off the hook for giving again. Of course, some family and friends give anyway to celebrate the couple. Post suggests checking in with other family members before you do anything.
5. I've been invited to a wedding I can't attend. Do I still need to send a gift?
In a nutshell, yes. Send it to the couple ahead of time, so they don't have to lug it home from the reception, suggests Post. If you don't ship it before the wedding, do it soon after. "The idea that you have a year is a myth," says Post.
6. Is it really tacky to just give cash?
"You will not find many couples who would be offended by cash," says Gottsman. As far as the amount, "what's adequate is whatever you can give." But a thoughtful note on a pretty card goes a long way. "The couple will know your gift was from the heart."
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7. So what exactly does that "+1" mean?
This is traditionally for a partner or spouse, but want to bring a friend instead? Do it. You can bring anyone you're close to and who you think would enjoy the event, says Gottsman. Well, except for kids. "A +1 is generally meant as an adult, not a young child, toddler, or baby," she warns. If the invitation doesn't mention your child's name or say "children welcome," you should assume it's a no.
8. If I didn't get a "+1," do I have to come solo?
If you're in a serious relationship or engaged, ask the bride or groom if there was an oversight, says Gottsman. If they tell you they couldn't invite your S.O. because it's a small wedding, be polite about it — they might have a tight budget.
9. How rude it is to skip the ceremony but attend the reception — or vice versa?
If possible, go to both — especially if it's a good friend or family member's wedding. If you have a major conflict that night, let the couple know well in advance. The protocol for leaving a reception early is to wait until the cake is cut, says Gottsman. And always find the bride and groom to thank them and say goodbye before you bow out.
10. Do you have to tip anyone at a wedding?
If the wedding has an open bar, you should tip what you would normally tip at a bar — anywhere from 50 cents to $1 a drink, says Gottsman. As far as a parking attendant or valet, they're usually built into the cost of a venue, but use your discretion (or watch to see what others do).
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11. Looks like there are no dinner options that fit my (insert restriction here) diet. Should I let the host know?
"It's impolite for a guest to enter a special meal request," says Post. "In most cases, you can make do with something that's being served." But if you're worried you'll starve, eat something before you leave the house. If you have an allergy, discreetly ask the waiter how the food was prepared.
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12. When and what can I post on online about the wedding?
"You don't want to post anything on Facebook or any other social media until your friend has made it public and you have her blessing," says Gottsman. For example, if she just got engaged, she may have told you but not members of her immediate family.
When it comes to posting on social media during the wedding, "the bottom line is, you have to respect the wishes of the bride and groom," says Gottsman. Some couples don't mind if you tweet the moment they tie the knot, and even provide a wedding hashtag for guests to use when sharing photos. Others are more private. Usually, you can find out on the couples' website, or just ask. But if you're not that close to the couple, err on the side of caution.
Photo credits: Getty Images
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What Color Should You Not Wear to a Wedding
Source: https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/advice/a24255/wedding-guest-etiquette/